I'm not into toilet humor or even discussions of such matters (one advantage of not being a parent is that the word poopy need not ever pass my lips), but I'd be remiss if I didn't give you a glimpse into typical Japanese toilets.

Notice in this first pic the control panel on the left side of the toilet.

Now here's a close-up shot of the control panel.

And just in case you can't quite see the illustrated buttons, here's another close-up, of the most important buttons.

There's no way I'm going to describe for you what a bidet does, but if you can't tell by looking at the illustrations, click on the link to read a brief description.

10/7/06 Update: It turns out wikipedia has a long, detailed article about Japanese toilets and toilet habits.